


Normal Events

by lmaoimsosorry



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), M/M, human!perry, normal events in danville
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22415881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmaoimsosorry/pseuds/lmaoimsosorry
Summary: This fic will focus on Doof and Perry for the first couple of chapters but will also focus on other things.I just need to get this fic out of my system.Relationships and tags will be added as relevant to the story.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Perry the Platypus
Comments: 22
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so a few things to start this off, I'm so sorry. Also, this is set about 4 years in the future from the show, the summer before Phineas and Ferb start high school.  
> This makes them about 14 with candace being 19. I think Linda is about 45 and Lawrence about 40. Heinz is stated to be 47 in show so 51 now. I imagine Perry to be Lawrence's older brother of 45.  
> Candace has just left for college and happens to attend the same college as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz. Yeah. Everyones gay.  
> Pretend the events of milo murphy's law s2 haven't happened. Cause they haven't in this fic.  
> This will only get weirder and I am sorry.

A normal day in Danville is not what may be considered a normal day in another town. For example, in another town, two men fighting over a remote that controls an Inator (no, Heinz will not be monologuing again today thank you very much), would be considered abnormal. Whereas in Danville, it is basically an everyday event. The odd days are the ones it doesn't happen. 

Just like, in another town, after a rough fight the two men would be on their separate ways, not worrying about the other at all. That’s where Danville is really different. After the Inator is destroyed, the two men clean up the mess and look each other over, making sure there is no real harm done to each other.

They fight not because they dislike each other but because it’s their job. In fact, they love each other. Doofenshmirtz builds something evil and Perry crashes the party and stops him from doing too much damage. He always lets him finish his monologuing because he knows it is important to him and then he escapes and destroys the Inator. Life was easy.

Perry Fletcher, Lawrence Fletchers older brother, was also known as Perry the Platypus, a secret agent for a top secret organization named O.W.C.A. He is mute and lives with his brother, his sister-in-law, and their children. They think he is an author and he does write on occasion. He uses a pen name to publish under. 

Of course, his nemesis, Heinz Doofenshmirtz, has no idea about this. All he knows is Perry was assigned to thwart him at every move. Perry sometimes wishes he could tell Heinz about himself. To truly get to know him. To let Heinz know him. But he can’t, not unless he gives up evil for good. Being evil means so much to Heinz, he get to let his frustrations out and never cause any real damage because of Perry who always makes sure he’s ok.

‘Heinz, you need to be more careful. If I hadn’t pushed you out of the way of that that blast it could have killed you!’ Perry looks worriedly at his boyfriend/nemesis. He has been increasingly distracted the past weeks. ‘What’s been going on?’

“There’s nothing going on Perry the Platypus. Well, other than Vanessa leaving for college. It makes me feel old y’know? I mean, I know I’m old but jeez real eye opener. And I know she’s back for the summer but she is leaving for school again soon. It’s just so lonely without her around.” Heinz pauses in his rant to breathe and looks over to Perry, “And you can’t be here every time I’m feeling upset, I’m sure you’ve got a family of your own and a life you can’t just abandon for me. I just feel isolated a lot now. I don’t really have a lot of friends.” He sighs, things just aren’t the same anymore. He wishes he could go back to before, when everything was easy. He wishes he and Perry could have a real life together. 

‘Heinz, our relationship means the world to me. I do have a life outside of you, but I miss you when we aren’t together.” Perry hesitates, biting his lip before continuing, ‘Please just consider giving up on evil. If you were to give up, I may be able to convince O.W.C.A. to let me retire. We could settle down together. Be together. I could let you meet my family.’ Perry may have fallen in love with Heinz being evil but he needs a steady and healthy relationship. He’s getting old, he wants to settle down with someone. 

Heinz frowns, that’s not what he expecting, “But, Perry the Platypus, if I am not evil then what will I do? Being evil is all I really know. I don’t want to do nothing, I enjoy having a hobby.” He looks away conflicted, on one hand he wants to stay with his boyfriend and settle down, and on the other hand, he doesn’t want to have to change himself completely. But would it really be such a big change? His heart hasn’t really been in the evil since Vanessa left for college.

‘Just think about it, love. I just want to be happy with you.’ Perry kisses him quickly before continuing, ’I have to go now but I imagine I’ll be back tomorrow.’

Once Perry is gone, off the balcony, as usual, Heinz sits down to contemplate everything. He wants to be happy with his boyfriend, huh, boyfriend. That’s so weird to think, at this age, he has a boyfriend. It’s all fairly new too, they had been crushing on each other for a while before acting on anything. They were both too nervous to do anything beyond innocent flirting. It took forever for them to confess, a lot of it due to them being nemesis. Neither one wanted to ruin what they had going, but they so desperately wanted more. More than just the fighting. So they talked and became friends. They both wanted more, but they didn’t know how to bring it. Being friends was good enough for now. 

Perry was the first to confess. O.W.C.A. has no policy on being in a relationship with your nemesis as long as they are still doing their job, which he is. Perry still thwarts Heinz whenever he must, but now he stays after instead of just leaving. He confessed on Valentines Day. Heinz had some big scheme to ruin Valentines Day in the tri state are. Perry didn’t want that, he was planning to ask Heinz out today, so he defeated Heinz even quicker than normal. After destroying the Inator, Perry had confessed his love and asked him out. They had dinner together that night, and it was magical.

And so began their relationship. It was difficult at first, getting used to balancing that on top of their nemesis battles and lives outside each other but they did find a rhythm. They make it work. 

The real question of the night is, how does he make this decision? It shouldn’t be difficult. He would give up evil for Perry, but it is pretty much all he knows. And even if he were to go good, how would he even do that? There are so many things he’d have to change. Even the little things. But Perry would be worth it, right? Maybe he’d even get to meet Perry’s family! Perry knows so much about Doof’s family because of all of the embarrassing monologuing but he knows nothing of Perry’s own family. Hell, he’s not even sure how old Perry is. God, does he want to know more about Perry. He wants to grow old with him. Well, older.

He’ll do it, for Perry. For their future together. It may not be easy but he will make it happen. Somehow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking about this for a week, I've got it all planned out. at least 5 more chapters planned but who knows how long I will have motivation to write. I will warn you, there will be Phineas/Ferb and Buford/Baljeet. 
> 
> Leaving it here because I need to get some sleep. wIll probably be edited at a later date. Who knows.
> 
> Update: has been edited some.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Heinz didn’t have any big scheme going. He spent most of the night awake and considering how to be ‘good.’ What even is good really? Is it simply a way of acting? Or is there more to it? He wants to be good for Perry but he’s really not sure where to start. He wants to be the best he can be but where to start? Being good isn’t something that just happens overnight. Or, if Heinz were truly evil it wouldn’t be. 

At around 12 pm, Vanessa gets tired of his moping around and asks him, “Dad, don’t take this the wrong way, but what is wrong? And don’t you dare tell me nothing because you have been moping all morning.”

“Vanessa, sweetie, nothing is wrong. I’m just…thinking.” Heinz says with a frown, how should he explain his thought process to his daughter, who doesn’t even know of the pair being a couple? He wanted to tell her but…he never knew when.

“Well, that’s dangerous. Thinking about what?” Vanessa asks as she hops onto the arm of the couch. She worries about her father. Sure, he is a genius but he’s also pretty dense, not to mention overly dramatic. She expects the problem to be something small, something easily solved.

Heinz looks away before answering, “Perry.” He doesn’t know what to say next, so he doesn’t think, he just opens his mouth and lets it just come out, “He asked me to be good. So that we could…really be together as a couple. I want to but…I don’t know where to begin. I’ve never been good. I love him Vanessa, but I don’t know if I can change who I am. I don’t know what I’d even spend my time doing if I did.”

Vanessa blinks, that was…not at all what she was expecting. She suspected before that there was more to their relationship than just nemesis but wow. She definitely wasn’t expecting her father to openly admit it like this. She always thought that she would find out by walking in on something. This is a pleasant surprise.

“Well, dad, first of all, you don’t have to change who you are. Perry fell in love with you for who you are. Just stop trying to take over the tri-state area. You can still invent stuff and build your Inators but just stop using them for evil purposes.” Vanessa says rolling her eyes, “You aren’t an evil person. You’re just…dramatic.”

“But, sweetie, what will I do? How will I occupy my time? Being evil is all that has really kept me busy. Sure I do other things, but nothing else is a career.” And he’s not wrong. It won’t be the same, but it will be better for his relationship.

“Dad, I understand where you’re coming from but you can always find something else to do. You like science, why don’t you become a science teacher at the high school? That’s a good job. And it would keep you busy. Plus, you like already have experience and you can’t embarrass me anymore.” She pauses. “At high school anyway.”

Heinz smiles, he knows she’s right. He can always count on her to be there for him. “Thank you, sweetie. I’m glad you’re here.”

Meanwhile, in the Flynn-Fletcher household, Linda and Lawrence were worried about Perry. He’s been anxious all day constantly looking at his watch and jumping at every little beep. They have no idea what could have gotten into him and made him so jumpy. They don’t know that he’s worried about his boyfriend/nemesis who he hasn’t heard from all day. And he can’t tell them that. Ever.

“Perry, honey, what’s wrong? You’ve been so distracted all day. Normally, when you get a day without being called in you’re out enjoying a day with the boys,” Linda says worriedly. He so rarely has days off that he usually is very excited about them. 

Perry doesn’t know what to say to them. How does he explain? Being a secret agent is exhausting, having to lie to everyone you love…Lying is a skill, one you get used to as a secret agent, but that doesn’t make it any easier. So he just…smiles.

‘I’m fine! Look, I know I’m a little jumpy today and I’m sorry. I don’t usually get today off. I’m just waiting for them to call me in.’ Perry signs.

“Now, Perry, why don’t you enjoy the time you have? Go spend some time with the boys. I know the boys love spending time with you, and they’re getting older. They’re going to high school this year, can you believe it?” Lawrence says with a wistful sigh. 

‘I know! It’s crazy to think they’re already so big. I remember when they were just little kids. You’re right, I should go hang out with them.’ Perry signs before getting up and heading out the door, if only to get away from their prying eyes.

Outside, the boys are simply sitting under their tree. When Perry opens the door, he sees the pair quickly jump apart. They smile when they see its only him. The boys spend less time these days on big contraptions, but rather designing blueprints and studying. The boys want to be able to go to college prepared. They’re planning to take concurrent college classes in high school. He’s so proud of them, they’re so smart and they work so hard for it.

“Hey, uncle Perry! We thought you’d already left,” Phineas says with a wide smile. Perry sits between the two boys, not noticing the look Ferb gives him. “You have today off?” 

‘I guess, I haven’t been called in yet. What are you two up to today?’ Perry asks, not really looking at either of them. Yes, he was enjoying their company but he’s still nervous. Heinz never goes silent without a reason. Usually an evil one.

“We aren’t up to much today, just thinking. Relaxing. Are you ok? You seem…worried.” Phineas asks worriedly. How does everyone see through him? He’s a secret agent for god's sake. He’s had training on how to control his emotions and facial expressions.

‘I’m fine,’ he bites his lip, how much can he say? ‘I’m a little worried about a friend of mine, but it's fine.’ Just then, his watch beeps, signaling an incoming message from Monogram. ‘Well, duty calls. Sorry for interrupting your day for nothing.’ He waves and then heads inside and lets Linda and Lawrence know he’s heading out.

He takes one of his many secret entrances into his lair and salutes Monogram. 

“Ah, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz is up to something, and by that I mean we have no activity whatsoever and that is suspicious. You know what to do, go get ‘em, Agent P.”

Perry rolls his eyes and salutes again before leaving in his hover jet. Monogram never has any useful information for him. Why does he even bother stopping Perry anymore? He could just send a text. The ride to Heinz’s building is short, but it feels like it went on an eternity. Why no activity today? Why was Heinz being so silent?

When he finally arrived, he entered through the balcony. Heinz is doing nothing. He is just watching TV. There are no blueprints out, no notebooks, nothing. He does look shocked though, not expecting his boyfriend/nemesis to barge in on him.

“Perry the Platypus? How unexpected! No really, what are you doing here? I’m not up to anything today. Not that I mind your company, but you are obviously working. I thought you enjoyed your days off.” Heinz only looks more confused as he speaks. He pauses his shows as he asks these questions.

‘Monogram believed you were up to something because we had no activity,’ he signs, taking a seat next to Heinz. ‘Why aren’t you doing anything today? Usually, if you’re taking a day off you tell O.W.C.A.’

Heinz grumbles, “Ah, I’m sorry Perry. It was a last-minute decision not to do anything today. I was actually talking to Vanessa earlier and thinking. I want to give up evil for you. I really do. But I don’t really know where to begin. Or I didn’t.” Heinz says, setting his drink aside and turning to face Perry. “See, Vanessa reminded me of the time I was a science teacher! I really enjoyed that. And that’s a good profession. So, I’ve applied to be a science teacher at Danville High School again. Sure, I have to fake a few credentials, but who cares?”

Perry blinks. Heinz, a science teacher? Again? 

‘I guess that’s true. And if you enjoy it, I’m not going to argue with you. Just make sure it’s what you want.’ Heinz absolutely beams at that.

“Aw, thank you, Perry. I’ve already applied for the job; I should hear back soon. You can tell Monogram I am giving up evil. For good! I want to live the rest of my life with you, darling.” Heinz smiles, wrapping his arms around Perry’s neck. He pulls him up for a kiss, and when their lips meet, it feels like time has stopped, sparks fly between them. When they finally pull apart, both of them are smiling contentedly. 

‘Now I just have to talk to Monogram. About you not being evil, about me retiring. Everything.’ Perry isn’t sure how Monogram will take things, but all he can do it hope that he takes it well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here's chapter 2. will probs be edited in the morning. who knows.
> 
> [check out my carrd](https://lmaoimsosorry.carrd.co/)


	3. Chapter 3

Perry spent most of the afternoon at Heinz’s place, they were mostly just sitting together, not talking just cuddling. What is there to talk about? Nothing, not until Perry talks to Monogram. Heinz can do what he wants, become a science teacher, but Perry can’t. He is employed there and O.W.C.A. has complete control over him basically until he does. He has to present his case to Monogram and hope he allows him to leave. Being a secret agent is supposed to be a lifetime commitment, people can’t just get out early because they want to, only if they physically can’t do their job anymore. Other than that, death is the only escape from this job.

There’s been 2 cases in the past where people were able to leave early because they wanted to. They were O.W.C.A.s best agents, and they only got to leave early because they were the best. They had to do paperwork for an entire year though before they were able to leave. It was only even taken into consideration because they were the best.

Perry knows he’s a good agent, he almost never asks for days off, and even when he does, he works anyway when they end up asking him. He’s never taken an actual vacation and he always does what they ask. He’s good at fighting, he always thwarts Heinz, etc. But is he good enough? Is he good enough to retire? 

These are the things going through his head all day. He knows he’s being distant, but he can’t help it, he’s trying to think of how to bring this up to Monogram, how he will be able to convince him that he deserves this. 

Heinz is worried about Perry, he can tell. The way he keeps looking over at him, the way he’s fussing over him. It makes Perry feel safe, he likes it. Heinz is just rambling at this point, talking about whatever crosses his mind. Perry enjoys it, but he needs to talk to Monogram. Tonight. He hates cutting their time together short, but hopefully soon he won’t have to.

‘Heinz, as much as I love your rambling it’s already 6 pm and I need to talk to Monogram tonight. And my family is probably getting worried about me by now.’ He kisses Heinz before continuing, ‘If all goes according to plan, I’ll be back tomorrow. I love you.’ 

“I love you, too, Perry the Platypus. Good luck with Monogram.” Heinz says, following Perry to the balcony. “Be safe.”

Perry waves before taking off in his hover jet. He’ll miss not having this whenever he retires. He doesn’t have to worry about traffic or anything. There’s a lot of little things he’ll miss, but he will enjoy retirement more. Being able to spend time with the boys, with Heinz, not having to lie to his family. Well, he might have to lie about his past occasionally but that’s it. 

Once he’s back in his secret lair under their house, Monogram immediately shows up on the screen. Perry salutes him before he begins speaking.

“Good job, Agent P. I know it’s late and I know you want to get back with your family but-“ Perry cuts him off with a chrrrr.

‘No buts. I need to talk to you.’ When Monogram recovers from the shock of being interrupted and waves Perry on, he continues. ‘Doofenshmirtz was up to nothing evil today. He told me he is giving up evil. That he wants to be a science teacher again and he has already applied.’ Perry pauses here, unsure of how to phrase this. He decides the best way would be to bite the bullet and just be blunt about it. ‘He’s giving up evil for me. So we can have a life together. Because of that, I’d like to retire early.’ Monogram says nothing so Perry takes it as a cue continue. ‘I know there has only been two cases of people being allowed to retire, but I feel I deserve to. My nemesis has turned good, which no one else would have been able to do.’

Monogram stares at him silently, but you can see the gears turning in his head. After what feels like an eternity (but is, in reality, less than a minute) he speaks, “it is precisely for those reasons why I feel like we cannot give you an early retirement. You are one of our best, if not our best, agent. It would be a great loss to O.W.C.A. if you were to leave early.” He pauses in his speech to gather his thoughts again. “That being said, Doofenshmirtz is really giving up on evil? That is amazing Agent P.” 

Perry can see Carl glancing between the two of them, as if waiting for a fight to erupt, while Monogram and Perry refuse to break eye contact. It’s turned into a staring contest and neither of them wants to lose.

‘Monogram, I will say it once more. I would like an early retirement and I would like you to actually consider it. Even if I am retired, I will still keep and eye on Heinz,’ he says, not bothering to just use his last name, he knows it makes Monogram uncomfortable. ’And I will make sure he isn’t doing evil.’ Perry signs while glaring at the older, but not by much, man on the screen.

There are a tense few moments before Monogram speaks again. 

“Perry the Platypus, do you understand what a great loss this would be to this organization? You are our best agent, you said it yourself. No other agent would have been able to convert Doofenshmirtz. We cannot afford to lose you. I do not think you need to retire.” At this Carl glares at Monogram.

“Monogram, with all due respect, you cannot just dismiss his request like that. I feel like Perry deserves this, he has worked here for many years and he has done more than any of the other agents. He has given up so much for this organization. He deserves better than this.”

There are a few tense seconds between the three of them. Monogram looking between Perry and Carl and Perry and Carl staring back at him. Perry is glad to have Carl on his side, Monogram is more likely to give in with another person pressuring him.

“Alright fine!” Monogram says finally. “I will consider your request, but what do you plan to do? You and I both know you won’t be able to do nothing. You have to stay busy.” 

‘I’ve thought about that. I think I’d like to be a teacher as well. I could teach ASL to the students at Danville High School.’ Perry signs, thoughtful. He really would like to teach. He would get to be with the boys as well, which is a great bonus. ‘Please, I want to be able to be with my family and Heinz before I’m too old to do anything.’

“Perry, I said I would consider your request. Now, I think you just need to go home. Good night, Agent P,” Monogram says with a sigh. Why must Perry be so difficult?

Perry sighs. He really hopes he will be able to leave. He exits his lair and enters through the front of the house.

“Hey, uncle Perry! I’m glad you’re home.” It takes him a moment to place the voice, but he’s ecstatic when he realizes who it is. 

‘Candace! Sweetie, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying at your apartment over the summer.’ Candace had gotten an apartment so she could stay over breaks without worrying about moving.

“I am, I just came to visit for a couple days. I’ve missed everyone. Being away from home is difficult, don’t get me wrong, I am much more mellow and calm not being here, but I miss everyone.” Candace is smiling. It’s true, being away has mellowed her out because she’s not constantly trying to bust her brothers. 

‘I’m glad you’re back, even if it's only for a little bit. I’ve missed you.’

The rest of the night is just a family game night with snacks and music and having fun. It’s Fletchers vs Flynns for most of the night. It’s the most fun Perry has had in a while. In fact, this whole day has been good for him. They all end up staying awake very late to finish a game of Monopoly. Everyone goes to bed with a smile on their faces that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again posted very late may edit in morning who knows  
> can you tell I'm not a huge fan of monogram  
> I'm writing this instead of my essay for class...
> 
> I'm going to warn you now there's only one maybe two more normal chapters left. after that, it'll delve into phineas/ferb and buford/baljeet and there'll be flashback chapters which will be p short but who knows. idk it was good in my head. I had more planned for this chapter but my hands went another way. 
> 
> Please comment guys? I like to know if people are actually enjoying it. I'm gonna keep writing it anyway but please let me know...


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha, sorry about the wait yall. been busy and lost my flash drive I keep this on.

The next day, Perry was waiting anxiously for his watch to beep. He wanted the news now. He didn’t like the waiting, he just wants to rip the band-aid off, get it over with. By 2 p.m. though he has given up hope that he would get an answer today. So, he was with the boys, watching them create one of their inventions. He was relaxing in a blue tank top that matches his hair and a pair of brown shorts on a sun chaise. He decided since he wasn’t going to have to thwart Heinz, he could relax and wear what he wanted to. Candace was relaxing next to him, just watching the boys. She really has mellowed out with age.

The boys are really very smart, they’re always inventing things. They always have blueprints and a plan for what to do and how to do it. He worries sometimes, if everything always works out for them, how will they react if something doesn’t? He doesn’t want something to go wrong, but he also doesn’t want them to get it too into their head that everything will always go their way. 

When his watch beeps around 4:30 p.m. he groans. He had committed to not moving and, if he was being honest, was annoyed with Monogram. He just had to wait so late. With a sigh, he places a drink to the side and stands up. 

“Called into work?” Phineas asks, sounding sad. He never gets to spend time with the boys.

‘Yeah, it shouldn’t take too long today. I’ll be back as quick as I can.’ They still look really disappointed, and he doesn’t blame them. It sucks, always having to run out on them. He hopes that against all odds, Monogram will let him retire. 

He decides to take the stairs again today, he wants to make Monogram wait. He also didn’t want bad news sooner. It was a long 10 minute journey down the stairs but once he was down he could see Monogram on the screen with Carl beside him. That’s weird, Carl usually stays offscreen for things like this, until he interjected with something. Perry chrrr’s a greeting.

“Perry,” Monogram says, “I have been considering your request all night. I still do not want to let you retire, but you did make some good points about why you should. Because of that, I am granting you your request, on the request that you watch Doofenshmirtz and stop him if he does try to do anything evil. He may say he is retiring but keep an eye on him. Evil is who he is, not what he does. If you can agree to these conditions, you may have your retirement.” Before Perry can respond, Monogram continues. “I hope you know what strings I had to pull to even be able to offer this to you. It was a difficult night.”

“Oh don’t even try that, sir! I did most of the work for you,” Carl snaps. He looks very frustrated. “You went home and had a peaceful night with your wife, while I stayed up pretty much all night making this happen. All you did was show up an hour early for work today.”

‘Wow, thank you. Both of you. I can accept those conditions, but I just want you to know that Heinz was never really that evil. He’s just…dramatic. Sure, some of the things he did are questionable but…he’s a good man.’

Monogram hates this, he is losing his best agent. “I wish you would stay; you are my best agent. You will always be welcomed back if you ever get bored of doing nothing.” Monogram sighs, “And I will get you the teaching job at Danville High School. You are dismissed.”

Perry smiles, he is finally getting what he wants, what he needs. He needs to be able to spend time with his family, before he can’t anymore. He’s getting old. ‘Goodbye, I will miss you guys. Working here has been…a delight.’ How else to phrase it? It wasn’t truly a delight, but he can’t say that. It was just a job.

He turns and leaves, time to tell everyone. Doof first. He doesn’t get to keep his gadgets, which means no flying vehicles. Oh well, he doesn’t mind walking. It’s good for you anyway. It isn’t a short walk, but it gives him time to think. 

Before he realizes it, he is at Doofs door. He lets himself in with his key and seeks out Doof. He finds him in the kitchen humming while making dinner. Perry smiles and walks up behind him, hugging him from behind. Doof jumps, not expecting anyone.

“Hey Perry! What are you doing here? Not that it isn’t a nice surprise, I just wasn’t expecting you.”

‘I just heard from Monogram,” Perry pauses, taking a breath. ‘He granted my request for retirement. With the condition that I come out of retirement if you start being evil again.’ 

Heinz smiles brightly and wraps Perry in a hug. They can be together, truly. They can share everything about each other, and they won’t have to hide anything. “Does this mean I can meet your family?” He really hopes so, he has been wanting to meet them for a while, it would be a nice step in their relationship. “Of course, I don’t have to. I’d love to but if that’s asking too much too quickly, I understand.” 

‘Heinz, of course I want you to meet them. I just don’t know what to tell them. I will introduce you as my boyfriend but…what do I tell them about how we know each other? How we met? I want to tell them the truth but…I don’t know if I can.’ Perry sighs. This is going to be complicated. How much should he tell them? ‘Monogram also said he would get me a job at the high school teaching ASL.’

“Oh Perry, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. I want to meet your family, but I want you to be comfortable with it. Think of what you want to tell them. I can wait, sweetie.” Heinz says, smiling. “I love you.”

They don’t talk much after that, Perry just helps him make dinner. They end up making way too much for just the pair, but they don’t mind. They enjoy working together. They get a little glimpse into the future of what they could have together, what they want together. 

Perry leaves not long after they finish eating, he wants to tell his family as soon as possible. He doesn’t want to wait too long but he has to think about what he wants to say, and how he wants to say it. He needs to be careful about phrasing. 

‘Hey, I’ve been lying to you guys for years and I am not who you think I am. I’m a secret agent and I’m in love with my nemesis. But don’t worry he isn’t evil anymore and I’m no longer a secret agent.’

Yikes. 

He walks back to his home, contemplating the whole way back what to say. He walks slow, it gives him more time to think. He wants to get this right. He doesn’t want them to worry about him. They don’t need to worry about him. Perry can take care of himself; he is worried about the boys though. They are sensitive children. 

When he walks in, Linda and Lawrence are in the living room watching a movie. Some romcom. They pause the movie and say hi to him when he walks in. He smiles at them and sits on the coffee table in front of them.

‘I need to tell you guys something.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update 6/22/2020: I just realized what a cliffhanger i left this on haha hopefully ill get a new chapter out soon but lifes been stressful


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! sorry its been so long, ive been really busy between everything happening. covid forced me out of the dorms, and moving home was hell and then my mom kicked me out...ive been staying with friends and am finally back in the dorms.
> 
> i dont know how busy im going to be, i still havent been able to find a job so ive got some free time but im not sure when the next chapter will be out. Its just been a rough couple of months.

“Perry…I- I don’t even know what to say. You’ve been lying to us for so long. About what you do…about who you are…” Lawrence says, not quite looking at Perry. “How could you?”

‘Lawrence, please. I am sorry. I had to lie to you, if I didn’t O.W.C.A. would have wiped your memories and moved me elsewhere. You wouldn’t even remember I was your brother. I wanted to be a part of your life, a part of the kids’ lives! I understand if you’re upset, I wish I could have told you, but I couldn’t.’ 

“Perry, honey,” Linda says, “It’s alright. I wish you hadn’t lied but you didn’t have a choice. Now, when do we get to meet this boyfriend of yours?” She attempts to change the subject, knowing her husband is hurt and confused right now and she doesn’t want him to say something he would regret. While normally it would be him that is ok with everything, this is his own brother. Someone he thought he knew everything about, she can’t blame him for being so upset.

Perry hesitates before answering, ‘Well, I’m not sure. I want you guys to meet him, but I don’t want you to freak out too much. He’s someone you guys have met before, Linda you should recognize him.’ He sighs, unsure how to continue. ‘He will be teaching science at the high school, and I will be teaching ASL. I need to talk to him to arrange when he is free.’

“Sweetie, just let us know when that is and we will have him over for dinner! I can’t wait to meet him.” Linda says, with a pointed look to Lawrence. “Honey, do you have anything to say?” 

Lawrence just stares at him, many emotions flittering over his face. “Perry, I-” he starts but pauses, “I want you to be happy. I do not like that you lied to us for so long but…If you had to, then I understand. I’m still hurt and it’ll take time to trust you the same again, but you’re my brother and I love you.” He wraps Perry in a hug, squeezing tight. “I can’t wait to meet your boyfriend.”

They chat for a few minutes before Perry heads to bed and they finish their movie. He’s not sure how he will break the news to the boys, he doesn’t think they’ll be upset but kids reactions can be hard to predict. And Candace, how will she react? She’s friends with Vanessa and Vanessa knows all about this. Oh god, what if Vanessa already told her? Well, it could be a good thing if she already knows. She hasn’t confronted him yet so if she does know, she doesn’t care. But what if-

He takes a deep breath. He is just working himself into a panic at this point. It’s difficult to just shut off his brain but he tries. There’s no use worrying about things outside of his control…is what he tells himself. He doesn’t believe it but it helps long enough for him to get to sleep.

He dreams of a worst-case scenario.

In the morning, he is woken up to the smell of breakfast cooking. He gets out of bed with a smile, he is free from O.W.C.A. He no longer works for them, and while he still has more to think about…more to worry about. He is free. It’s a beautiful day and he can hear the boys downstairs, having fun and playing.

They eat breakfast together, as a family. He decides he will tell them after breakfast, once Linda and Lawrence have already left. 

When it is just him and the kids, he sets them down in the living room. 

“Uncle Perry, is everything ok? You look…upset?” Phineas says, tilting his head, trying to decide if that’s the word he’s looking for.

“Yeah, Uncle Perry, are you ok?” Candace says, looking worried.

Perry takes a deep breath. ‘I need to tell you guys something. I am not who you think I am. I was a secret agent, with an organization called O.W.C.A. I was assigned to stop an evil scientist here in Danville. And I did, for years. But my nemesis and I fell in love, we have been together for a little over 3 years. I have finally convinced him to give up being evil so that we could be together without having to fight each other.’ He pauses here to gauge their reactions, they all 3 look shocked but Candace looks more…confused. She must be putting the pieces together then. ‘I was able to retire early because of that and the fact that I was one of their best agents. Heinz, my boyfriend, and I will both be teaching at the high school. I will be teaching ASL and he will be your new science teacher.’ He nods at them, signaling that he is done talking.

They stare at him shocked. Candace even looks a bit panicked, which is a little confusing. 

“Perry you-you lied to us?! And not only that but your boyfriend is Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Vanessa’s dad?! How-you-why-” She looks close to hyperventilating then and Perry panics. “I’m dating her! Do you know how weird that is and I-” Her eyes widen, realizing what she said. “I-I mean…” Perry sits down next to her and looks into her eyes, trying to calm her.

‘You are…Vanessa’s girlfriend? Sweetie, that’s ok. Why are you freaking out? What are you really worried about?’ Perry tilts his head, not understanding where this is coming from.

“I-if you guys got married that would make us like cousins or something, right? Which would make it weird for us to date, like could you imagine family reunions? And if we like stayed together and had kids, what would we even tell them? It’s just weird!” Candace says, visibly panicking. She is really worked up about this, Perry feels bad. She has the same problem with overthinking as he does.

‘Candace, sweetie, that doesn’t matter. You and Vanessa aren’t related. Heinz and I dating doesn’t change anything. How long have you guys been together?’ Perry attempts to distract her, to help her calm down. ‘You haven’t said anything before.’

“Um, a little over a month? It started as uh, well a drunken hookup but turns out we actually liked each other. She talked about her dad and well you, I guess. I don’t know how I never connected the dots.” She bites her lip, “I’m going to go call her. Um, if you’re done?” He nods, he knows she just needs some time to process everything. She heads to her room to talk to Vanessa. She pauses in the doorway and turns to them, “Um, please don’t tell mom and dad about the drunken hookup part. I don’t want them to know I’ve been drinking and I’m not really out yet.”

‘Of course, sweetie! I would never out you.’ Perry turns to the boys then, noticing how quiet they are. They appear to be having a silent conversation. ‘Are you boys alright with this?’

“I…I can’t believe you are – well I guess were – a secret agent. How did you manage to hide that from us for so long?” Phineas says, still not quite believing everything.

‘It was difficult, I wanted to tell you guys so bad. I always felt so bad when I had to leave so suddenly, I wanted to stay. I love spending time with you boys.’ He sighs, ‘I’m so glad I will have free time now to spend with you guys.’ 

Phineas smiles, “So, when do we get to meet him? I mean, I know we already knew him but when do we get to meet him as your boyfriend.”

‘Your mom wants to have him over for dinner so as soon as he is available. He will most likely be your science teacher.’ Perry smiled. 

“I can’t wait to meet him again! Do you think he would like to see some of our inventions?” Phineas says getting excited. “Ferb, c’mon let’s get together some of our inventions to show him.” Phineas grabs Ferbs hand and drags him off to their room.

School starts in two weeks. Heinz will be over sometime before then, hopefully, and his life will finally start to be something normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [check out my carrd](https://lmaoimsosorry.carrd.co/)


	6. Chapter 6

It took one week for Heinz to come over for dinner. He was nervous, this is is boyfriends family! If they didn't like him it could tear them apart. 

Perry reassured him multiple times that they would in fact like him, but there was still that '...but what if?' in the back of his mind.

When he showed up, he brought Vanessa along, partially to act as a buffer because she already knew the family. She could help to keep the peace if things got tense. 

"Welcome to the Flynn-Fletcher household," exclaims Lawrence when he opens the front door. "Linda and Perry are working on dinner still, the kids are in there rooms. Vanessa, you know where Candace is?"

"Of course," she says politely. She kisses her dad on the cheek and then walks up towards Candace.

"Hi, nice to meet you," says Heinz, holding out a hand with a small smile. 

Lawrence shakes his head and pulls Heinz in for a hug.

"C'mon then, let's chat." He leads Heinz into the living room, gesturing for him to sit down. "Now, i don't know much about you. All I really know is that you and my brother are dating but also nemesis. Or ex-nemesis. Whatever it is, be good to him. God it feels like such a cliché to be threatening you but he is my brother, and I love him."

"I...Of course. We are ex-nemesis, but even before it was strictly professional hatred," Heinz says. "I've always respected him, he was an amazing agent."

"Good. Well, I trust my brothers judgment." He smiles at Heinz before turning back to his show. 

Heinz isn't sure what to do now, so he just sits there awkwardly for a few minutes, watching TV with Lawrence, until the boys come down the stairs.

"He is here!" Phineas says excitedly. "Hi, you're uncle Perrys boyfriend, right? I'm Phineas and this is Ferb! He told us you're an inventor too, and we wanted to show you some of our inventions." He smiles brightly up at Heinz and grabs his arm dragging him towards the stairs.

Heinz stumbles a bit but dutifully follows them upstairs. He can't really reject a child dragging him upstairs. 

Behind him, he hears Lawrence chuckling. 

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Linda is finishing up the last part of dinner while Perry sets the table. 

"Hey, Perry, I think your boyfriend is here." Linda says teasingly. "Though, it sounds like the boys just dragged him upstairs. Im glad they seem to like him."

'Yeah, me too,' Perry signs smiling. 'I want him to get along with all of the kids.'

She smiles at him reassuringly, "I'm sure he will." 

She calls everyone to dinner a few minutes later and it goes smoothly for the first couple of minutes until Heinz begins talking about his life.

"So, Heinz, tell us about yourself! Were are you from?" Lawrence asks, not realizing the can of worms he's just opened.

"Well," Heinz answers, swallowing his food, "I'm from Drusselstein. Its a small country, I lived there for a while with my Mother and Father and younger brother, you may know him actually. Roger Doofenshmirtz, the mayor. Well, my family liked him more so eventually I was sent to live with ocelots, which is actually very fun and and I miss Mama Ocelot, but I eventually made my way back to my family and I-" He cuts himself off. "Sorry I'm rambling, aren't I? I've been trying to work on it."

Everyone is silent.

"Er- I'm sorry?" Heinz says looking between everyone else and Perry. "Was it something I said? I-"

"Heinz, sweetie, you were raised by ocelots?!" Linda asks, nearly shrieking. "What kind of irresponsible parents-!" She cuts herself off before cursing in front of her kids. "I am so sorry that happened to you."

"What? Oh it's fine. It was actually nice. My ocelot family was actually very nice," he says, grinning at her. "I appreciate the concern but really, it's fine."

Everyone shares a look at that but takes him at his word. If he can be ok with it, they don't want to make him be upset over it.

"So, Heinz, you're going to be teaching science at the high school, yeah?" Lawrence asks, moving on. 

After that the evening goes smoothly, everyone talking and laughing and having fun. About 9 the girls go up to Candace's room and the boys go up to theirs, leaving just Linda, Lawrence, Perry, and Heinz downstairs.

Around midnight Heinz decides that he will just stay the night because it is already so late. Linda and Lawrence head to bed yawning and telling them good night.

"Hm I guess we should let Vanessa know I'm staying here." Heinz says. 

'I will,' Perry quickly volunteers. He leads Heinz upstairs and points him in the direction of his room. 'I'll be just a second. Feel free to use my pajamas.'

Perry walks quietly over to the girls room, not wanting to disturb them if they're asleep. Pushing the door open gently, he sees the two of them asleep together in bed. Just as he suspected. 

As he is about to shut the door Vanessa opens her eyes and blinks up at him, "Perry? Is everything alright?"

'Your dad is sleeping here tonight, i just wanted to let you know. Sorry I woke you.' He apologizes.

"No no, it's fine." She yawns. "Thank you, good night Perry, I love you."

'I love you too.' Perry signs, smiling. 

He shuts the door behind him, glad he checked on them and not Heinz. He isn't sure if he knows about their relationship but he doesn't want them to be accidentally outed. Yawning, he opens his bedroom door to find Heinz standing there in a shit that is too big on him, while just holding the pants. 

"The pants don't fit." He says. He puts them back in the drawer and crawls into bed while Perry gets himself ready for bed. It takes almost no time at all. 

"Good night Perry, I love you." Heinz says, closing his eyes.

'I love you too.' Perry signs, despite Heinz not seeing it as he is already fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses wow hi everyone. Sorry I have taken so long, my internet hasnt been working very well and also yknow. Writing hard. This was written in like an hour in my notes app. 
> 
> [check out my Tumblr](https://lmaoimsosorry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
